The things I do NOT do for you…

1) Iron your shirts.  Why?  I do not meet the 30-minute-per-garment minimum.  And you redo them after I’m done.

2) Make your lunch.  Why?  My resume lacks the title “sandwich artist.”  My tastebuds are apparently unaware of the time to taste ratio.  My grandma always taught me that it all ends up in the same place anyway!

3) Laundry.   And why?  Mr. Eco-friendly insists on hot water for his miniscule load of whites.  And when you take them out, make sure to shake them out and hang them just so.   Otherwise, they’ll have to be washed again.  Obviously.

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